The Day I Asked My Best Friend to Break My Heart (And Why It Saved My Business)

I’ll never forget sitting across from Sarah at our favorite coffee shop, my hands wrapped around a lukewarm latte, trying to find the courage to ask the question that had been burning in my chest for weeks.

“What do you really think I’m good at?”

She looked up from her cappuccino, confused. “What do you mean? You do so many awesome things.”

“No,” I interrupted, surprising us both. “I mean, what do you see that I don’t? What am I missing about myself?  I feel like I’ve spent so much time figuring out what other people want from me instead of serving from a place of authenticity. You’ve known me for a while. What do you see as the greatest strengths I have to offer?”

The Mirror We Can’t Look Into

Here’s the thing about being a creative entrepreneur: we spend so much time in our own heads that we lose all perspective. We’re like someone trying to see their own face without a mirror. Sure, we can touch our features, feel the general shape, but we can’t actually see ourselves.

That day with Sarah changed everything. She told me things I’d never considered:

• “You make complex business strategies feel like friendly conversations”
• “You have this way of seeing someone’s potential before they do”
• “Your superpower is making people feel capable of anything”

I almost cried into my latte. These weren’t the things I marketed. These weren’t the skills I highlighted on my website. I’d been so focused on what I thought people wanted that I’d completely missed what I naturally offered.

The Anxiety Distortion Field

You know that image that’s been floating around social media? The one showing how anxiety makes you see yourself as this massive collection of weaknesses while others see your kindness, humor, loyalty, and ability to grow?

It’s not just a meme. It’s neuroscience.

When we’re anxious about our work (and let’s be honest, what creative isn’t?), our brains literally distort our self-perception. We magnify every flaw, minimize every strength, and create a funhouse mirror version of ourselves that would be laughable if it weren’t so painful.

But here’s what I learned that day with Sarah: our friends aren’t looking through the anxiety filter. They see us in HD clarity while we’re watching ourselves through static.

The Courage to Ask

After that coffee with Sarah, I did something that felt incredibly vulnerable. I reached out to five people who knew me well—clients, collaborators, friends—and asked them the same questions:

1. What strengths do you see in me that I might not recognize?
2. What makes me different in a positive way?
3. When have you seen me at my best?

The responses broke me open in the best way. Patterns emerged that I’d never noticed. Gifts I’d dismissed as “too easy” turned out to be exactly what people valued most about working with me.

Your Turn to See Clearly

I know what you’re thinking because I thought it too: “This feels self-indulgent. Needy. Like fishing for compliments.”

But it’s not. It’s market research of the most important kind—understanding your true value so you can offer it fully to the world.

Here’s my challenge to you: Choose one person this week. Just one. Someone who’s seen you in action, who knows your work, who you trust to be honest. Ask them what they really see in you.

Then brace yourself for the beautiful shock of recognition when they describe someone amazing—someone who’s been you all along.

Ready to go deeper? I’ve created a complete framework to help you gather this transformative feedback systematically and turn it into creative clarity. My “How Do You See Me?” guide includes templates, scripts, and exercises to help you finally see yourself through clear eyes—and create from that truth.

Get “How Do You See Me?” Today →

Because the world doesn’t need another copy. It needs the original you, creating from your actual strengths instead of your imagined weaknesses.

With belief in your journey,

Jenn